In the first couple of class periods, I was silent. I was intimidated because everyone around me seemed to be an English major or some major requiring higher proficiency in reading and writing. I questioned my voice’s validity and doubted the relevance of my perspective. Additionally, we were reading books about experiences I was less familiar about and believed that meant I had to platform to speak about them. However, one of the biggest lessons I have learned throughout this class is that one of the overall major points of the noir genre is to expose readers to experiences that exist along the margins. Though I still might not talk a lot in class, I do have the confidence to speak when I want to, even if I know it might not be right on the spot.
Most of the books out there are centered around a white Christian narrative. Noir provides the antithesis of this account with contrasting perspectives. We learned that one of the major themes of noir was that people live and exist on the margins and that there is a world of corruption that exists where no light reaches. While this theme is incorporated into each of our stories like Trick Baby which highlight the life of a pimp, I think it also speaks to the genre as a whole. Noir is the darkness that exists in the literary world, full of topics that people largely stray from. It is not a large genre, but it exists and it is our glimpse into a world we may be unfamiliar with. For a while this foreignness is partly what made me fall silent. I, like many common readers, was comfortable reading the big name books. Yet, these books and this class was the challenge that pushed me to become a more intelligent and informed reader and person.
While I grew up right outside D.C., where I was exposed to social and political issues from a young age, I will be the first to admit the limitations that came with my all-girls Catholic education. I had one or two classes that strayed from traditional literature. I am not trying to discount these other books that taught me numerous of other lessons, but I very much maintained a position in the light of literature, somewhat blind that a darker side to literature existed. One of our books, If He Hollers, Let Him Go was especially challenging to me. I was less familiar of the psyche behind the black experience, but the main character, Bob gave me a full transparent look into the paranoia and anxiety that he faced. In some ways when I encountered these books, I experienced my own descent into the darkness because a spotlight was finally shown on the marginalized. I was not completely ignorant to the existence of these real issues, but our noir books took my understanding to a greater level. With exposure, I became more comfortable in not only this class but all my other classes because I learned I did not have to know everything to know that my voice is still valid.
The noir genre is a darkness in all literature that sheds light on the darkness of marginalized issues. These books have become a powerful learning experience about the world and myself. My descent into the darkness of noir is definitely an illuminating experience.
I really, really enjoyed this reflection as I share a lot of the same feelings as you. Especially since I also attended an all-girls-Catholic high school, I think that even the books we do read that are not focused on white Christian morals are seen as the odd ones out. Instead, this semester, we focused soley on these marginalized books and the marginalized characters within them. I also liked your description of your personal descent into darkness as you read. I also think I had a similar journey, though perhaps mine was less of a descent and more of a revelation as I explored darkness, but was able to return back to my previous state.
I really like your analysis, and I felt a similar growth. It was a jarring experience and a huge learning curve. It is hard to contribute on a subject that is foreign, but noir teaches us not to fear the foreign. We must embrace the darkness in order to grow.