The best way for me to talk about work-life balance, is to talk about my family experience. Both my parents worked before they had kids. When they did decide to have children, my mom stopped working to become a stay at home mom. My dad worked his way up and became successful in his company. The “classic” american family. What makes us a little less “classic” is my dad’s ability to balance work and life so well. When my dad was young, his dad worked 2 hours away, so he only saw him Friday through Sunday. My dad decided that he did not want his children to have that kind of relationship with their father, and he decided that he was going to prioritize his family. My dad never missed a dance recital or dance competition. He never missed a field hockey game or ski meet, and even helped coach both those sports. He is with me for every birthday and every holiday. He drives the two hour drive from Grand Rapids to South Bend to come to Notre Dame football and hockey games with me. He even flew to Virginia Beach last year to watch me play in the college club field hockey nationals. His job requires him to travel a lot, but he calls every night to say good night and makes sure he is home for big events. This means sometimes he has to take a conference call on the sidelines, or he has to bring his computer in the car while my mom drives, but he has made it very clear to his daughters that we are a priority in his life.
I know it can not be easy on my dad all the time. But I think if both parents decide and agree exactly on what their family dynamic should be, and then make that a priority, it is possible to have it all. It probably would not have been as easy for my dad if my mom was not a stay at home mom, but she made that decision, and she does not regret it. To me, “having it all” means your family is happy and healthy. Jobs can come and go, but I know my family will always be there for me.
Balance in a family is also important. In the article “Why I Put My Wife’s Career First,” the author discusses the “balance” that he has in his family, where his wife is the successful business woman, and he is the “lead parent.” I guess if this “balance” works for his family, and is what makes his family happy, then good for them, and I am glad they found something that works. Personally, I have a hard time with the term “lead parent” because both my parents parented me equally. Even though my mom is the one who stayed home I would not call her the “lead parent.” The author of the article details his role:
Despite many days of weariness, I would never give up my years of being what the journalist Katrin Bennhold has called “The One”—the parent my child trusted to help master his first stage role, the parent who shared my child’s wonder at his first musical composition, the parent my boys called for when they needed comfort in the night.
In my life, my dad worked really hard to not let this be a reality. He still wanted to be a big part of my life. I go to both parents equally for advice, comfort, love, and laughs. I hope that some day my children have the same kind of strong relationships with both their parents that I have been lucky enough to have with mine. Although I am not sure yet that I want to be a stay at home mother like my mom, I will talk with my husband to find the best way for our family to achieve the same amount of love, attention, and fun that my family has had my whole life. It will take compromises and sacrifices, but it is possible.
As far as burnout goes, I can see how it happens. I sometimes feel burned out at school when I have so much work and get so little sleep. I have to miss family member’s birthdays because of homework and school and this makes me sad! It helps me to have something to look forward too! This year I am going to Hawaii with my family after school is done, and that is one thing that is really getting me through!
I think companies should help their employees avoid feeling burned out. Giving their employees more vacation time, or more flexibility, allows them to not feel as “trapped in the office.” Giving employees something to look forward to, like happy hours and catered lunches, helps them feel more appreciated and less like a cog in the machine. Encouraging employees to try new things or to change teams within the company is another great way to avoid burnout. Some companies require or allow “hack days” to encourage employees to pursue their own projects or research new technologies. This helps employees to change it up every once in awhile and try new things.
It is important for companies to allow these kinds of things because it tells it’s employees that the company cares about their mental health and overall happiness. Happier employees will be more willing to stay, and probably produce better products.
In order to find balance and avoid burnout, I am going to try to stick to a schedule. I will work hard during work times and try new things and schedule time with friends and family outside of work. To avoid burnout, I will try to change up this routine every once in a while, give myself things to look forward to, form good relationships with my coworkers, and try to balance me time and social time outside of work. It is important to have relaxing evenings alone with a movie but also to maintain positive relationships outside of work.