The power of self-forgiveness

Self-forgiveness might sound like new-age hocus pocus, but research is showing that it is real, and that it matters. A recent study found that students who forgave themselves after an initial bout of procrastination were less likely to repeat their avoidant behavior. Those students who did not study for a first test, but forgave themselves, were more likely to study for the next exam.

It’s probably easy to see some of the implications of this research. Those of us who are hard on ourselves might be self-handicapping. While it is good to have high expectations for ourselves [more on the Galatea effect soon], we also need to be careful about being too hard on ourselves when we do not perform up to those expectations. Doing so might be self-defeating behavior.

Of course, there is always a middle ground here. We don’t want to accommodate or excuse negative behavior, but self-forgiveness seems to involve recognizing what we did wrong, identifying how we can do better, and then stopping ourselves from ruminating on our conduct too long. We need to get it, then get over it!

Wishing you much happiness

~matt

Research citation: Wohl, M., Pychyl, T., & Bennett, S. (2010). I forgive myself, now I can study: How self-forgiveness for procrastinating can reduce future procrastination. Personality and Individual Differences, 48 (7), 803-808

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