Month: September 2017

Pray With Me

With three young children, school day mornings can be busy and often stressful in my house. After waking the kids and coaxing them to the table, I play the role of the short order cook, serving breakfast while simultaneously packing lunches (because I just cannot make myself do this the night before!). Then it’s uniforms, brushing teeth, double-knotting shoes, and trying to get out the door while inevitably a hair bow is missing, or brothers are wrestling, or the dog chewed up another teddy bear and the day is starting off with tears and, more often than I’d like to admit, a fair amount of yelling.

One morning, after a particularly rotten getting ready for school experience, I buckled everyone into the car for our short drive to school and spontaneously began praying aloud. I asked God to forgive me (and the kiddos) for the rough start to our day and prayed for blessings on each of us throughout the day. I gave each child a chance to add their own intentions as well. I felt instantly better, and I knew my kids were getting out of the car in the drop off line with a sense of peace and feeling God’s love as they entered school.

I often encourage teachers to try spontaneous verbal prayer with or in front of their students, especially when faced with a challenging behavior situation. Students can sense when their teacher is getting frustrated. Imagine having a teacher pause, take a deep breath, and say something like, “Dear God, Give me patience today, as I am struggling to react positively to these students. Please help them to practice greater self-control and kindness. Amen.” Perhaps a small prayer like this will be enough to act as a warning of sorts to students and will curb behavior issues for the moment. Even if not, it will likely help the teacher feel calmer and handle subsequent discipline problems in a more productive way. More importantly, the teacher is sending a message to students about how to deal with frustration and difficulty by turning to God in prayer. Maybe some of the students will internalize that message and follow the teacher’s example by praying during their own times of struggle. This is a life lesson and coping skill that should be modeled for students as often as possible.

Since that day when I prayed aloud about our awful morning, we have continued to pray in the car on the way to school. I hear the click-click-click of seat belts and ask who wants to pray first. My children take turns praying for their family and friends and whatever worries are on their minds that day. It has become a routine that we all look forward to and I hope it is instilling in them the habit of turning to God to start their days.

 

 

Behavioral Mindsets

Carole Dweck’s concept of growth mindset, or the belief that intelligence is changeable rather than fixed, has been widely embraced by educators across the country. I know many teachers who have spent quality time in these first weeks of the school year fostering a classroom culture that values taking academic risks and making mistakes in order to learn and grow. There are google searches and pinterest boards full of ideas for posters, anchor charts, and lesson resources emphasizing the “power of yet” and the importance of growth mindsets. Research shows that this kind of teaching can impact students’ mindsets and leads to more positive motivational patterns and subsequent academic achievement.

I wonder…what would a classroom be like if a teacher also embraced a growth mindset with regard to student behavior instead of just academics?

Too often, teachers focus on controlling and tracking student behavior with management systems such as color-coded clip charts or online behavior tracking tools. A student misbehaves and a teacher gives a warning and then a consequence, like changing their card to a different color and missing part of recess. Management systems like this convey a fixed mindset with regard to student behavior. Teachers assume students are going to make poor choices and when they do, they need consequences to deter them from continuing to make poor choices. This system has an end result of making students feel labeled as a “good” or “bad” color. Not only is this humiliating, but it is largely ineffective, as students typically continue their patterns of behavior regardless of the change in color. Why? Because they are not actually learning the skills needed to change their behavior and grow in character or in composure. Their behavior is being judged and tracked, but not necessarily taught.

If teachers approached classroom management with a growth mindset, they would begin with communicating a foundational belief that all students are capable of behaving appropriately. They would encourage students to use effective strategies to self-soothe, regain focus, and practice kindness to one another. They would help students identify gaps in their behavioral skills and work together to problem solve and actually learn the skills needed to succeed in school. Not because they want to stay on a “good” color, but because they want to grow and improve in all ways.

What does this look like in a classroom? How can teachers actually manage behavior without a system like a color chart to track it? First, it is critical to define classroom expectations and procedures that are taught and practiced to perfection at the beginning of the year, and rehearsed as often as needed. Additionally, students need rationales for why the rules and procedures are important for the classroom community. This can be accomplished by a teacher-led discussion or by student input into the rules and classroom norms. Then, when infractions do occur, students can be immediately reminded of the agreed upon expectations. After a reminder, if the unwanted behavior continues, this should be recognized as an opportunity for growth, just as a mistake on a math problem can be viewed as a chance to learn. The student should be given an opportunity  to reflect on the behavioral issue, perhaps in a designated notebook or on a “stop and think” slip that the teacher makes available. The teacher can then follow up on the student’s reflection and use it as a teachable moment to brainstorm solutions or coping mechanisms to put into place the next time a similar situation arises. When students later use the appropriate skills, their improvement in behavior should be recognized and celebrated with praise.

In Catholic schools, we believe in educating the whole child. To me, this means having a growth mindset towards behavior as well as academics. We can respect the dignity of our students and meet them where they are in their character and skills development as we help them grow to their God-given potential in and out of school.