After viewing the episode of Him & Her, I went back and reread the description of the program: “Intimate, anti-romantic comedy about real-life love in its lazy, messy, everyday glory.”
I applaud the creator of Him & Her for exploring a realm of relationships that few programs dare to delve into. According to the description, I would agree that the show is “intimate,” “real-life” and certainly “messy.” However, the real word that sticks out to me is “glory.” Him & Her successfully pinpoints the glory behind successful relationships, free of the falsities and superfluous characteristics so often seen on television. I am quite impressed that the creator has managed to pull off a show that actually glorifies the mundane. Personally, I found the amount of inactivity to be weirdly refreshing.
There is something so intruiging about watching two people act so completely normal. The idea that TV offers viewers a sense of escapism constantly seems to pop up, but Him & Her seems to do just the opposite, it actually keeps viewers in check with their own surroundings. Within this environment, people loose their keys, endure the pesky neighbor upstairs and are nice to their siblings out of necessity. There are spontaneous pillow fights, moments of uncanny intimacy and awkward silences. This is where the glory lies.
Him & Her essentially epitomizes the “relatable” program. There is nothing special about either character other than the fact that they have found true love. There is no drawn-out, ambitious, lofty love story that ends with fairy dust and rainbows. Instead, there are two people who would rather stay inside with one another than do anything else. As if the show couldn’t get any more real, the element of the plot unfolding in real time enhances the program. There is no time for scripted nonsense that characters would never actually say. All of the conversations and reactions are meant to come across as unadulterated and off the cuff.
Him & Her will certainly not appeal to everyone. In fact, I probably won’t indulge in any more episodes on my own. Mostly, I appreciate the fact that this type of program has found a home on British television. I don’t think I have ever seen anything quite like it.
I think you hit the nail on the head here. One of the things that really bothers me about television overall is the way they handle relationships. Pam Wojcik (I will NEVER spell her name right) said in a class to us last semester that Hollywood has set up this expectation in young people that their relationships are only good if the two people start out hating each other and a lot of people won’t feel content until they’ve found “the one.” Shows don’t celebrate the things that we actually love about relationships: the everyday. The messy. The glorious things that are never glorified. This is a show that we can subconsciously compare ourselves to and not come up lacking. Realistically, you’re not going to fall in love with someone because they chase you down at a train station and proclaim their love for you (in the rain, of course), you’re going to find yourself in a relationship that you can be yourself in and feel safe in and enjoy the everydayness of. We don’t necessarily need validation from the movies and TV shows we watch, but it’s always nice to see an image of yourself reflected in in the televisual mirror.
I agree with both of you on the wonderful change in romantic portrayal, not needing to focus on the big romantic gestures or proclamations…it’s the little things that count. Something else I enjoyed was the level of comfort between the two. No games or subtext, for the most part, they just existed with each other. So many American shows only gain momentum through the “will they/won’t they” dynamic then fall flat once the “shipping” duo finally get together. It can be easy to create cute scenarios and almost moments, but it can be equally difficult to keep the simple interesting.