How often do we talk with our colleagues, listening to their stress and worries, and then tell them what to do or try to fix it? Those responses come from a caring place, but do we really know what will bring them back to a state of calm that helps them be productive or take that next courageous step?
I was panicking in a recent leadership training exercise that put me very far outside my comfort zone. My heart raced; I was hyper-alert; my breathing was shallow and quick. I was quite literally afraid for my own safety, and because I was so anxious, I worried that my panic could put others in harm’s way. I wanted to be there; I wanted to participate and be part of our group, everyone else seemed to be okay, but all the warning bells were ringing in my head.
And then someone asked me, “What do you need to feel safe?”
That one question made me pause, putting aside my fear for a moment, and it was something only I could answer. It gave me control, reframing the situation in a way that let me decide what would help the most. It also gave me the opportunity to clearly share my boundaries and what I needed from others so that they could support me while we worked together. That question allowed me to find the courage to do something I wasn’t sure I could do, and ultimately, it led to our group completing our activity more smoothly and with more success.
Just think of the courageous next steps our colleagues might decide to take when given the opportunity to set their own course.
