The Power of the Rock (by Kara Palmer)

As you know, at the end of the Coaching Workshop, every participant leaves with a blue rock with the word “Courage” on it. This rock is meant to remind us of the new skills that were introduced and to empower us to ask powerful questions, WAIT/WAIST, don’t problem solve and to keep the “monkey” off of our backs by enabling others to solve their own problems. But little did I anticipate that the rock would be a useful tool in and of itself.

Shortly after my boss attended the workshop we were in the midst of talking through a difficult situation that had arisen in the College.  There was no easy answer and we were both in the thick of the matter and looking at it from our own very personal lenses. We were sitting at a round table in the middle of his office and, there in the center of it, was where he left his “Courage Rock” from his session.

Its mere presence was a reminder to me to approach the problem together in a more inquiry-based fashion. I physically grasped the rock, smiled and began to ask him powerful questions about the issue at hand. He then reciprocated the method and our conversation opened up a higher level of dialogue. That physical gesture of putting my hand on the rock let my boss know that I was going to practice my coaching skills and also gave me permission to challenge our thinking and problem-solving in a collegial way that was understood by both of us.

We have had many conversations since that day in which one of us will say something like, “Let me put my coaching hat on and ask you a question.” Or, one of us might physically move over to and grab the rock in order to change our conversations. It’s a work in progress and we both have asked our fair share of Yes/No questions and have also moved to problems solving quicker than we should. However, that rock has been a powerful reminder and tool to encourage us to continue to exercise “the muscle” and reframe our approach to problem-solving.