Absorb the language, feast on baguettes, meet locals. So far, I have been eager to immerse myself in the beauties of la vie française. However, I neglected to realize that immersion does not discriminate. Sure, I found the culture, but it was a disagreeable, unappetizing, uncomfortable viral culture in my gut. But at least, it was an opportunity to experience the French système de santé.
I noticed my mysterious illness when I became fatigued in the middle of the day. Even after sleeping for 13 hours, I was exhausted. My stomach ached and my body protested everything I consumed. A pain woke me up on Sunday morning, so I decided to visit the hospital.
I went to Hôpital Universitaire Pitié-Salpêtrière, which was remarkably slow and dirty. Garbage littered the halls and ill folks slept on the floors. US hospitals smell like illness, but a sterile illness. When I was seen, I was directed to a city laboratory to give samples, and a pharmacy for pain medication. Laboratories and pharmacies are separate from the hospitals, and closed on Sundays and national holidays. I would have to wait two more days to receive medication and lab work. When in France, right? The pain medication did help though–see cover photo.
Two days later, I was finally able to pick up medication from the pharmacy without much trouble. The laboratory was a more complicated. The lab only took cash payments, and lab results take a week to turn out. Luckily, a few days returned my health to normal and was later verified by the lab results (long after the fact).
Though the French healthcare system is cheaper, it is also slower, dirtier, and caters not to the Sunday sick. The decentralization makes it difficult to navigate, and my lack of language did not make the situation easier. At the very least, I enjoyed engaging with the Parisian medical community. I would still recommend language tables, bars, and outdoor markets as primary methods of language acquisition, however.