Imanalla! Ñukaka Chihiromi kani. Kunanka Ecuadorpa kapakllakta Kitupi kawsashpa kichwa shimitami yachakuni.
It is my second week in Quito, Ecuador, and I would like to share some of the Critical Incidents I have encountered. As the title suggests, I have three small stories.
Bills: how are we supposed to pay at restaurants?
Located right on the equator (hence “La República del Ecuador“) and bestowed with the diverse nature of the Pacific Ocean, the Andean mountain range, and the Amazon, Ecuador has unique and delicious cuisine. Naturally, I cannot resist my desire to try some Ecuadorian food in local restaurants. So I enter a restaurant, but then suddenly I have a slight sense of panic.
- When should I pay? Before seating? After the meal?
- If I get a bill, then will I pay at my table or go to the cashier?
I feel confused, and I actually felt the same way when I moved to the United States. The payment custom at American restaurants is surprisingly different from that of Japan and the United Kingdom. So, being aware of these three norms, I genuinely did not know which of these applies to the Ecuadorian culture; or, using one of the metaphors introduced in the Module, I have three glasses that I have customized in order to look at Japanese, British, and American cultures, but I could not see it well with any of these at first in Ecuador.
After some trials with fear and curiosity, I have figured out that the payment custom really depends on each place. There are restaurants that you pay first at the cashier when ordering, pay at the table, or pay at the cashier after the meal (but I haven’t seen anything like payment like in the US where your waiter reads your credit card, comes back with it, you sign on a receipt and add some tip). I have learned that it is totally acceptable to ask them directly about when and how I should pay, because the system ultimately depends on each restaurant (what’s more, even 10-dollar bills are sometimes not accepted, so it is better to ask them if you only have them).
Musicians: should we give money to strangers?
When having my lunch at those Ecuadorian local restaurants, sometimes a musician comes in and suddenly starts playing an instrument or singing. It was a little shocking to me because other customers and staff around me were not showing any shock as if it was normal. Though I almost immediately knew that they came for earning some coins, I still did not know whether I should give them money or not.
On one hand, I tell myself, “Just give them some money, it won’t hurt me while it might mean more than it for them.” On the other side, I also cannot help myself thinking: “Giving them a little money does not ultimately help them; if I give them, other tourists might be looked at as money trees; or, in the first place, I don’t even know if they are really in need of help.”
When I was in Japan, I hardly thought about this question because it was very rare to be begged there. However, in societies with huge economic discrepancies, it is inevitable to think about it, not only because there are such occasions, but also because it is not so rare for someone to choose to give them money or donate some of their belongings.
Every time I face this kind of case, I feel a little confused either way; if I choose to give them money, I think “Will what I have just done help them get out of this situation? Aren’t I just being a hypocrite?”; if I choose not to, then I feel guilty because I would barely get any harm by sharing and I could have made their day a little better. My cultural glasses simply cannot find an answer to these questions even now.
Prayers: what should I do during the prayer before the meal?
Since coming to Notre Dame, it has not been rare to see Christian people pray before starting their meal. It was a little shocking (not in a bad sense) to me at first, simply because I have grown up in an environment without such customs of praying before meals.
The large majority of the population in Ecuador is Catholic, and my host family was also praying before their meal on my first day. I felt awkward. I identify myself as a secular person with a bleached background in Buddhism and Shintoism. I did not know how to pray in a Christian way; I am not familiar with what kind of importance the prayer has; or what non-Christians are supposed to do during the prayer. I could not see well through my cultural glasses. I still do not know.
I do not know if they noticed me being a bit awkward at it, but they no longer pray before our meal since my third day. I haven’t asked them why either, because I am not ready to ask them about religion, because sometimes it can be personal or sensitive. I do hope that I will learn how to cope with customary differences arising from religions in general because they are ubiquitous in the world, sometimes even with the potential of causing aggressive friction.