My cultural immersion is inevitably plagued by uncertainty and misunderstanding. These critical moments are learning opportunities, ways to improve my understanding of Costa Rican culture. During my orientation, I learned that Costa Ricans mostly use “usted” instead of “tú” when speaking to someone. The first term is more formal, but I learned that it is becoming the common phrase in the way that “you” replaced “thou” in English. My program director even told me that she hears spouses use usted with each other. Internalizing this new way of communication, I used usted with my host brother. I didn’t understand why he looked at me strangely.
“Are we not friends? Why are you calling me usted?”
At the moment, I felt uncomfortable. It is difficult to dually navigate living in a host family and communication and cultural barriers. Now, this moment seems less significant: simply a part of adjusting to new languages and relationships.
Culturally, this moment relates to respect. I am still learning how to properly address each person. While usted is a sign of respect, tú can be as well: it can show the depth of a relationship between friends and loved ones. Thinking about cultural metaphors, I find myself looking at this critical moment through a camera lens. When I zoom in, I see difficulties navigating a new brother-sister relationship. However, zooming out reveals the background of the picture, the different ideas of respect our different cultures hold and how it translates into spoken language.
While this was a passing moment, it taught me to adjust my expectations of Costa Rican culture. Learning about Latin American culture in class and actually navigating life here are very different. I am doing my best to stay open minded and to learn from my errors instead of letting embarrassment keep me from improving my language skills and cultural understanding.