Jordanian Social Structure: The Good and the Bad

It was very interesting looking at Hofstede’s insights and comparing Jordanian culture with American culture. A lot of things I saw in Jordan were confirmed and anchored to a cultural dimension with this exercise. Jordan is a very religious state and a monarchy and it is interesting to see how this impacts its culture when comparing it to the United States. Jordan and the US have very different scores in the individualism category, with the US ranking 91% and Jordan 30%. Thus, Jordan is considered a collective society and I witnessed this firsthand. The Islamic religion is the central factor that unites most Jordanians. They go to the mosque several times a day to pray and this catalyzes this collective culture. It is normal for several generations of a family and extended family to live under the same roof. I asked many people why I did not see homeless people on the streets of Jordan. They all responded: “It is because Jordanian families look out for each other.” In the US individual autonomy is encouraged, however, in Jordan each person has a role in the family unit and this helps them achieve the status quo. The men work to make money, the women raise the children and do work around the house, and the children get an education. In the US these strict roles are not as prevalent. This is the way that things went in Jordan, so when I asked if there was flexibility in these roles and if women could do other things, the overwhelming answer was no. Even with little things like sitting in a taxi women were always expected to be quiet and sit in the back, and a man was to sit in the front seat. It was very interesting to see how people from the Jordanian orientation view looked down on those from the Western orientation view and saw it as disorderly. 

I had to adjust my attitude and expectations slightly to conform to this collective society. I had to wear modest clothing and be mindful of the customs in this society. I refrained from sharing my Western views and learned to appreciate the harmony of this collective society.  I was shocked to see that the US was ranked high on the masculinity index and Jordan was ranked as a feminine society. I disagree with this because the foundation of Jordanian society was family, and the foundation of the family was a man. Especially because Jordan is a monarchy, people value the King and Prince overall. Many of the females in my program stated that they would not like to be a woman in Jordanian society because of the lack of autonomy. My professor ( a woman) even said, “If a woman has a choice between university and a husband, she should choose to get married and have a family.” So, because of these experiences, I would say that Jordan is absolutely not a feminine society. 

While I was shocked by some of these customs and rigid beliefs, I was not upset or angry. Many Jordanians were not upset with this hierarchical structure and thought that it was the right way of doing things. They found peace and harmony in this, so for them I was happy. Additionally, there are laws in place that protect this hierarchal structure. So, even if they tried to move away from it, it would be very difficult. This is how they maintain peace and order in their society and for them it works. I found the streets of Jordan to be free from violent crime and very safe. It seems that how they organized their society kept them peaceful and free from conflict. I think big conflicts stayed and were resolved within families. It was an amazing experience getting to live and learn about this culture. It helped me learn that there are different ways of organizing society, and each comes with its own strengths and weaknesses. 

DIVE into Reflection

My critical incident was a small interaction in an Uber. However, these interactions happened somewhat regularly. My friends and I got into the daily Uber to the coffee shop to do homework, however, the Uber began interrogating us about our religious backgrounds. He proceeded to tell us that we were wrong for practicing the religion that we did (while using slurs for catholic people in Arabic) and that because of this we were flawed people. Then, he said we must listen to the Quran and he played it on the radio for the remaining five minutes of the Uber Ride. My in-the-moment response was silence and disappointment. Obviously, I was not going to argue with the driver out of fear of what the retaliation would be. However, I was shocked by how close-minded he seemed to be. From this, I made the interpretation that the people who practiced Islam in Jordan hated anyone who practiced something else. This initial evaluation and interpretation did not reveal much about my cultural expectations because I felt like I did not have many in regard to the issue of religion, although maybe I should have. 

This critical incident definitely made me feel as if I didn’t belong or wasn’t accepted culturally in this country. After using the D.I.V.E. exercise I feel more sympathetic and less resentful to the man who said this to us. I don’t feel as though I missed anything when I describe the incident objectively, however, I do not always consider the religious climate of the country and the lack of religious diversity as well. If I considered these factors a bit more at the time of the incident, I may have had more of an understanding and acknowledgment that these beliefs were founded due to a lack of exposure to any sort of other religion or opposing viewpoint. Indeed, if I had never been exposed to any sort of religious diversity in my life I too would believe that the way I practiced religion was the only good way.

There was no way to really verify this incident. We did ask our professor what the words he used to decide Catholics meant in Arabic, and she did confirm that they did confer ill will. Using the D.I.V.E. exercise was helpful because it allowed me to dig deeper into the root causes of this critical incident and it helped put me at ease a bit more. I think I would use this again in the future to help keep my emotions in line and to fend against the formation of harsh stereotypes due to isolated incidents with people in cultures that are unfamiliar. 

Post #6 – Au Revoir !

I was scared before I left for Avignon. I was afraid that my French would not be good enough, and because of that, I was going to feel very isolated. Thankfully, this was far from the case. My time in Avignon was fantastic and will be a cherished memory of mine. In my six weeks, I’ve seen my French advance in a manner I could not have imagined. But I think the greatest aspects of my time in Provence were the people I met and the places I visited. One of my biggest takeaways from this trip is the importance of speaking to strangers. Some of the most rewarding interactions and experiences of mine came from speaking with strangers. Had I not spoken to the woman next to me on the train, I wouldn’t have had the experience of visiting her beautiful countryside estate. Had I not been willing to put myself in the initially uncomfortable situation of living with a complete stranger in a host family, I would not have received the incredible cultural and linguistic immersion that I did.

Study abroad isn’t just about learning a language or about a culture. Study abroad is ultimately about connecting with people you normally would not be afforded the opportunity to connect with. If we don’t seek to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations like immersing ourselves in a country that speaks a foreign language or engaging with strangers, we won’t be able to form these rewarding connections. Despite my fears going into the program, I was hoping that I would see myself open up a bit more and engage with strangers and uncomfortable situations. And I’m glad to say I’ve achieved this, and it made my experience in France all the more enjoyable.

#5 Final Moments in Madrid

I truly can’t believe my two months in Madrid has come to an end. These last 2 weeks in Madrid have been filled with gratitude and reflection, and I can confidently say this has been the most fulfilling, rewarding, incredible summer of my life. When I wrote my first blog post back in May I remember writing that I had no idea what I was getting myself into. All I hoped was that I would make a few friends, get along with my host family, learn to live on my own in a new city, and improve my Spanish along the way. I’m now leaving Spain with some of the closest friends I’ve ever had, a deep love for this incredible city, and a desire stronger than ever to continue working towards Spanish fluency. My heart is so full, and I could not be more grateful.

About two weeks ago was when it started to kick in that my time in Madrid is coming to an end. For so long it felt like I was just getting started. I’d finally gotten a hang of the metro system, I started to feel comfortable speaking to strangers in Spanish, and I was in a great flow with my classes. Then, suddenly, August 6 was two weeks away, and I realized there is so much I’ve yet to do in Madrid. I’ve spent the last two weeks going to every museum I could, exploring new neighborhoods and getting on random metro lines, and soaking in quality time with my friends. I just got back from a 5 day trip to Ireland, and I was shocked at how much relief I felt to be back in Madrid. Madrid genuinely feels like home, and it felt like a breath of fresh air to be speaking Spanish again and falling back into the daily routine I’ve had for the past two months. However, I was also shocked at how strange it felt to speak Spanish again after 5 days without it. It took almost an entire day to rewire my brain back to thinking, speaking, and listening in Spanish. This honestly scared me, because I’m now wondering how much of this progress I’ll lose when I go back to the US, and how I can make sure I keep integrating Spanish into my daily life. I’m lucky that I’ll get to continue my Spanish when I study abroad in Santiago, Chile in the spring, but my 5 days away from Spain was an eye-opening reminder that I’ll need to make a conscious effort to not lose all the hard work I’ve done this summer.

These final days in Madrid are so bittersweet. The mundane things that consumed my life for so long now feel so, so significant. When I got back to Ireland and was on my way to my homestay, I teared up on the metro. The people I shared commutes with for 2 months get to continue their lives here while I have to say goodbye to each and every little thing. I pulled out my journal and wrote down these thoughts: después de 5 días de distancia, olvidé que la vida continúa sin mí, y la vida va a continuar después de que me vaya. Que afortunados son de continuar sus vidas sin el miedo de que nunca volverán a ver estas calles.

There is so much about Madrid that I love that I did not expect to love. I love how everyone cares about each other in a way I don’t quite see back home. How the older couples in my neighborhood always stop to chat on their walks out, how el portero Joaquin and I joke about the heat every time I walk into my apartment, how the public transportation is calm, reliable, homey. How I became friends with the owner of the bar where I performed open mics a few times, just because I cracked a joke with him in Spanish and now he remembers me every time I walk in. How my lengua teacher, María José, wasn’t afraid to give me a big hug and kiss on the cheek and tell me she’ll never forget me on the last day of class. How the streets are clean and bright and alive, and how everyone gathers to Temple de Debod for sunset every night. I will always be grateful for this city, these people, and this adventure. Saying goodbye to Madrid and the amazing group of friends I’ve made here feels like one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I wouldn’t change a single thing.

Sunset at Temple de Debod

My classmates Michael and Ceci, and Profe Ramón

Saying goodbye to my friends :,)

Watching one final sunrise from my homestay living room