Author: jmccar24

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The End

This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Was I prepared for my summer in Jordan in any way? Absolutely not. There were extremely tough days, my classes were hard, and the culture was strange. However, I got more out of this trip than I could have ever imagined. At the beginning of the summer, I was annoyed and scared by the call to prayer blasting throughout my neighborhood. By the end of the summer, I saw the beauty, dedication, and devoutness of this ritual. 

Every week I was there, the strangeness of the Jordanian culture turned to beauty in my eyes. I not only learned the language, but I was able to experience a culture of religion, history, and pride. I shared funny moments with my classmates trying to navigate the city, order food, and just survive in this unfamiliar place. What was arguably more powerful was what I learned about myself and my culture. In America, many people see our culture as burgers, beer, and football. However, Jordanian culture is anchored heavily to family and religion. In the US family sizes have shrunk and Sunday is no longer a day of rest. High achievement, innovation, and money lead the lives of many Americans, yet these themes were not present at all in Jordan. While I was shocked initially, I learned that sharing a meal with family and devoting your entire Friday to prayer was far more important to the Jordanians than anything else. The family unit truly was a unit here, and people did not leave their houses until they were starting a family of their own. Along these lines, many Jordanians took us Americans in as a family. They said that because we are far from our families, we could be a part of theirs. This to me was beautiful. My professor and a lady we met at Church both said that I could call them “Om”, the word for mother in Arabic. 

On the other hand, I learned the not-so-beautiful parts of the culture. I saw firsthand, how the lives of women can be hard due to the obligations within the family structure. Also, the lack of a robust government structure meant public transportation and social services were scarce. Like the US, Jordan is not perfect, but being able to live there and experience the good and bad was critical to my formation as a human being. Despite cultural and especially religious differences, I was able to conclude that the thing that unites us all is our humanity. While some people did not like us because of our religion or the fact we were Americans, there were many who acknowledged this difference and accepted the beauty of it. Words cannot describe my experience this summer, but it was the most formative experience of my life. This experience has allowed me to think about what it means to be a better global citizen for others, how differences in culture can affect everything, and how how to appreciate something that is so different.

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Jordanian Social Structure: The Good and the Bad

It was very interesting looking at Hofstede’s insights and comparing Jordanian culture with American culture. A lot of things I saw in Jordan were confirmed and anchored to a cultural dimension with this exercise. Jordan is a very religious state and a monarchy and it is interesting to see how this impacts its culture when comparing it to the United States. Jordan and the US have very different scores in the individualism category, with the US ranking 91% and Jordan 30%. Thus, Jordan is considered a collective society and I witnessed this firsthand. The Islamic religion is the central factor that unites most Jordanians. They go to the mosque several times a day to pray and this catalyzes this collective culture. It is normal for several generations of a family and extended family to live under the same roof. I asked many people why I did not see homeless people on the streets of Jordan. They all responded: “It is because Jordanian families look out for each other.” In the US individual autonomy is encouraged, however, in Jordan each person has a role in the family unit and this helps them achieve the status quo. The men work to make money, the women raise the children and do work around the house, and the children get an education. In the US these strict roles are not as prevalent. This is the way that things went in Jordan, so when I asked if there was flexibility in these roles and if women could do other things, the overwhelming answer was no. Even with little things like sitting in a taxi women were always expected to be quiet and sit in the back, and a man was to sit in the front seat. It was very interesting to see how people from the Jordanian orientation view looked down on those from the Western orientation view and saw it as disorderly. 

I had to adjust my attitude and expectations slightly to conform to this collective society. I had to wear modest clothing and be mindful of the customs in this society. I refrained from sharing my Western views and learned to appreciate the harmony of this collective society.  I was shocked to see that the US was ranked high on the masculinity index and Jordan was ranked as a feminine society. I disagree with this because the foundation of Jordanian society was family, and the foundation of the family was a man. Especially because Jordan is a monarchy, people value the King and Prince overall. Many of the females in my program stated that they would not like to be a woman in Jordanian society because of the lack of autonomy. My professor ( a woman) even said, “If a woman has a choice between university and a husband, she should choose to get married and have a family.” So, because of these experiences, I would say that Jordan is absolutely not a feminine society. 

While I was shocked by some of these customs and rigid beliefs, I was not upset or angry. Many Jordanians were not upset with this hierarchical structure and thought that it was the right way of doing things. They found peace and harmony in this, so for them I was happy. Additionally, there are laws in place that protect this hierarchal structure. So, even if they tried to move away from it, it would be very difficult. This is how they maintain peace and order in their society and for them it works. I found the streets of Jordan to be free from violent crime and very safe. It seems that how they organized their society kept them peaceful and free from conflict. I think big conflicts stayed and were resolved within families. It was an amazing experience getting to live and learn about this culture. It helped me learn that there are different ways of organizing society, and each comes with its own strengths and weaknesses. 

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DIVE into Reflection

My critical incident was a small interaction in an Uber. However, these interactions happened somewhat regularly. My friends and I got into the daily Uber to the coffee shop to do homework, however, the Uber began interrogating us about our religious backgrounds. He proceeded to tell us that we were wrong for practicing the religion that we did (while using slurs for catholic people in Arabic) and that because of this we were flawed people. Then, he said we must listen to the Quran and he played it on the radio for the remaining five minutes of the Uber Ride. My in-the-moment response was silence and disappointment. Obviously, I was not going to argue with the driver out of fear of what the retaliation would be. However, I was shocked by how close-minded he seemed to be. From this, I made the interpretation that the people who practiced Islam in Jordan hated anyone who practiced something else. This initial evaluation and interpretation did not reveal much about my cultural expectations because I felt like I did not have many in regard to the issue of religion, although maybe I should have. 

This critical incident definitely made me feel as if I didn’t belong or wasn’t accepted culturally in this country. After using the D.I.V.E. exercise I feel more sympathetic and less resentful to the man who said this to us. I don’t feel as though I missed anything when I describe the incident objectively, however, I do not always consider the religious climate of the country and the lack of religious diversity as well. If I considered these factors a bit more at the time of the incident, I may have had more of an understanding and acknowledgment that these beliefs were founded due to a lack of exposure to any sort of other religion or opposing viewpoint. Indeed, if I had never been exposed to any sort of religious diversity in my life I too would believe that the way I practiced religion was the only good way.

There was no way to really verify this incident. We did ask our professor what the words he used to decide Catholics meant in Arabic, and she did confirm that they did confer ill will. Using the D.I.V.E. exercise was helpful because it allowed me to dig deeper into the root causes of this critical incident and it helped put me at ease a bit more. I think I would use this again in the future to help keep my emotions in line and to fend against the formation of harsh stereotypes due to isolated incidents with people in cultures that are unfamiliar. 

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What do Jordanians think?

If I have learned anything about Jordanian culture during my time here, it is how fundamentally different it is from American culture. So, when I was asked to seek out the opinions of Jordanians on stereotypes that they typically hold about Americans, I was intrigued to see what I would find. I initially suspected that Jordanians would have rather negative stereotypes about Americans, and unfortunately, I was correct. My professor gave me a brief synopsis of the stereotypes Jordanians have about American family structure, culture, and other customs. 

My professor started the conversation with the stereotype that American families are not united. In Jordan, you live with your family until you get married and often grow up with your grandparents living in your house as well. This familial structure is the backbone of Jordanian society. So my professor found it shocking that Americans typically leave the house at the age of 18 and do not return. The Jordanian family unit sticks together until a new family is formed, so the American way of leaving at 18 may lead Jordanians to believe that there is a lack of unity within American families. My professor went on to say that Jordanian families “all help each other” while American families do not. I do believe this stereotype is highly dependent on individual families, but I do see the willingness of Jordanian families to help each other. My professor calls us her “little ducklings” in Arabic, insinuating that we are also her children. Some Thursdays after class she makes us a meal and we eat it as if we were family. I have not had many experiences like this in the United States and it is very refreshing to feel welcomed in this way when I am so far away from my own family. 

Furthermore, my professor commented on cultural stereotypes. She stated that Americans often have stereotypes about other cultures like how Americans think that Arabs “just ride camels”. She blames this on Americans’ lack of understanding of other cultures except for the stereotypes of these cultures. I would say this is true as I had my preconceived notions about Jordan and the middle east before I arrived here. While some of these were proven true, some were proven wildly wrong.

Finally, my professor commented on the food. She said, “Americans eat fast food.” This is true, however, the most crowded restaurants I have seen here have been American fast-food chains which I found to be ironic. I have seen lines out the door for KFC, Popeyes, and McDonald’s (McArabia), while the adjacent Jordanian restaurant lies empty. 

All things considered, I found these conversations with my professor to be very eye-opening and productive. I have heard stereotypes about Americans. I have heard that we are stupid, fat, and loud, however, it is fascinating to hear about the more nuanced stereotypes related to family structure and cultural issues. Seeing others’ stereotypes has made me more aware of the stereotypes I have and how I construct them.