One critical incident I have had during my time here in Italy occurred the first day I arrived. A friend and I went out for dinner to a nice restaurant near our dorms. We had a great time, as it was difficult not to enjoy the great food, environment, and service. However; as we finished our meal, we noticed a key cultural difference that took us both by surprise. Instead of bringing us the check at the end of the meal, the waiter that had taken care of us for the last two hours was nowhere to be seen. We asked someone else if they could bring us the check, and they did so instead of getting the other waiter. We paid the check, and there was some final confusion about how much to tip, or if we should even tip at all.
At the time, we felt a little awkward about the situation, but it ended up being something we got used to at different restaurants around town. From our point of view, part of the hospitality culture assumes that the check will be brought out automatically, and that a tip should be expected. From the other perspective, tips are not necessary or sometimes not even wanted. For checks, part of the reason they are not brought out automatically is that the expectation for meals in Italy is that they form a stronger and longer community-involved experience.
The river metaphor I wrote about earlier still applies here. The aspects of Italian culture that we needed to comprehend in order to feel comfortable were hidden under the surface or left upstream. Since we found out about them later, it seems the river of Italian culture moves relatively quickly and allowed us to feel more comfortable as we spent more time in the country. Above all, we learned that patience and an open mind are the key to overcoming critical incidents and learning more about culture.