It is a strange yet comforting feeling to return to a familiar, yet foreign place. The first time I stepped foot in Guatemala was only earlier this year, on Christmas Day. I jumped on the opportunity to use my winter break free time and funding from the Keough School of Global Affairs to spend three weeks in Antigua, Guatemala studying Spanish. Since I left Guatemala in January I finished up my first year of graduate school and completed eight weeks of fieldwork and research in Nigeria. Being back for the second time in one year feels like a renewed opportunity to dive deeply into the language learning. With my coursework and fieldwork behind me and nothing hanging over my head or other responsibilities to tend to, I am excited to hone my focus on Spanish, and just Spanish.
Learning a new language independently has been an arduous task. I am grateful for the resources and opportunities I have found at Notre Dame to continue my Spanish learning journey which has largely been on pause since 2018 when I took my last formal language class in undergrad. With these opportunities at my finger tips I have felt compelled and responsible to utilize them and recommit to my language goals which have previously always been easy to find an excuse for or a reason to postpone.
As a U.S. citizen with a family who has been in the U.S. for generations on both sides, learning a language beyond English was unnecessary and even devalued in my family, school, and community. I never took formal language classes until middle school during which Spanish was the only option and classes took place for only an hour 2-3 times per week. This of course, did not set me up for success in high school where I chose to continue Spanish study over French (the only other option) and completed the necessary three years to graduate before ending my study senior year. At this age I, regrettably, didn’t see the value of learning Spanish and really struggled with the subject which made it harder to enjoy and easy to move beyond without looking back once I had completed my required coursework. Similarly, in college, I had to take through elementary Spanish III to graduate and essentially reviewed the same material I had learned in high school. After “learning” Spanish since age 11, almost a decade later I could barely hold a basic conversation, read a children’s book, or write a postcard.
Frustrated by the time I had sunken into this skill with very little to show for it and a renewed passion for intercultural understanding and exchange fueled by extensive educational travel and coursework I was privileged to partake in during college, I decided that I wasn’t ready to give up on learning Spanish just yet. As my interest in and passion for global studies grew, I realized how important language was in my pursuit to better understand the world and other cultures. I longed to move past the piecemeal, poor education I received in school and launch into immersive study that could provide me with lasting language acquisition and fluency. So, I applied to and was accepted to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Paraguay. I was excited for my Spanish learning journey to take root in Paraguay and bear fruit. When the pandemic hit and the program was halted, my concerns were focused more immediately on finding a different job in the U.S. and pivoting my career while my Spanish learning prospects fell away as yet another untimely casualty of COVID.
Enrolling in the Keough School of Global Affairs as a Masters of Global Affairs candidate has been a dream come true for multiple reasons, including giving my Spanish learning goals a new lease on life. My time in Guatemala earlier this year was transformative and helped launch me into continuing my studies at Notre Dame in Intermediate Spanish II last semester and receiving the SLA grant to return to Guatemala this summer. As someone who is always doing a million things at once, trying to allot time in my busy schedule for Spanish study on my own has been very difficult and my experience with immersive study in Guatemala earlier this year confirmed for me the success of this method and necessity of full-immersion for lasting and meaningful acquisition of the language. I hope that this experience will not only help me level up my speaking and listening skills, but also boost my confidence so that I can continue using Spanish in the U.S. with my Spanish speaking friends and colleagues outside of formal educational settings.
My failure to achieve Spanish fluency has been a chip on my shoulder since middle school and the road has been full of barriers including my own self-doubt and poor mindset, unhelpful pedagogies and bad teachers, lack of time and resources, and more. This summer I’ll be focusing on 1:1 daily private lessons and living with a host family in order to commit my full time and effort to developing fluency. I hope I am able to take advantage of this opportunity and time to be as intentional and committed to Spanish as possible during this next month.