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I have had multiple critical incidents in my time here so far, but the most prominent happened in my second week of class. The topic of the day was globalization. I was placed into a slightly higher level German class than I was ready for, so I am able to follow the conversations well, but find it difficult to articulate myself when it comes to broader topics such as this one. I have a very diverse class with people coming from Russia, South America, Korea, Hungary, etc., which allows for very broad range of opinions and perspectives.

In this conversation, a Hungarian man began explaining his beliefs about the American dream and how it is toxic and infecting global cultures. In the moment, I viewed it as a complete attack on my culture and beliefs that I’ve grown up valuing. As one of two Americans in the class, I felt very frustrated that I didn’t have the linguistic means to defend myself and explain my perspective.

During our break, I thought more about why he might feel the way he does. I came to the conclusion that perhaps he feels some of his culture and traditions are at risk of being lost if American influence continues to spread. I can absolutely understand this concern and find it to be an interesting point of view.

I have had the rare opportunity to travel to a country which cannot be identified by the average American. As such, few stereotypes can be formed about Moldovans, save for generalities of Post-Soviet Eastern Europe. Even then, I reckon that the average American consumes too much lead to even identify that Moldova is in Eastern Europe. That said, I did have a lengthy conversation with a Moldovan native about Moldovan stereotypes. First, there is a stereotype that Moldova is just a part of Romania. The languages are essentially the same, and the economies are intertwined. I even had a tour to local Moldovan monasteries, guided exclusively in Romanian (rather than English, Moldovan, or Russian). Second, there is a stereotype that Moldovans hate their own country, and that everyone wants to leave. I, personally, have very much enjoyed Moldova. It is a quant, humble country, with a generous and kind people. Although the levels of alcoholism and a weather forecast may speak to the contrary. I have also heard from my mother and uncle that Eastern European women are like hawks, ready to swoop down and prey upon western foreigners, that Eastern Europe is the birthplace of models and mail-order brides. I can safely say that my loyalty and commitment to my girlfriend has not been tested in Moldova. I can only assume that the beautiful have already emigrated.

Regarding American stereotypes, these are well known. We are known as fat, materialistic, superficial, and above all stupid. Every stereotype is rooted in some truth, and the American obesity rate and largest economy (pending China’s rise) would substantiate such claims. Facts regarding America’s status as a first-class university-education provider challenges at the very least any claim that Americans are stupid. There are positive stereotypes that are just as well known. Americans are known for being industrious, inventive, independent, and loud (sometimes helpful for being heard). Of these, the factual record similarly gives credence to some of these claims. I think that stereotypes hold little weight, but when travelling, I am sure to be cautious that I am not being taken advantage of. This entails checking receipts, confirming instructions, etc. I think it would be difficult to tell that I was an American by looking at me, but it becomes clear immediately that I am a foreigner of one breed or another. I was asked by this same Moldovan native why I don’t brazenly advertise my nationality, and I simply responded, “some people don’t like Americans.” I have found it best to divulge my personal details only after a baseline of trust has been established. It seems obvious when writing it down, but it is trickier in the moment. I would of course dread being the cause of an all new American stereotype.

Quite frankly, I am not sure if any notable critical incidents have occurred since landing in Costa Rica. Other than some differences, like how my host family spends a lot of time with each other and with their extended family versus my family culture of independence and cherishing downtime, nothing has really stuck out to me. 

Perhaps what has been more notable are the critical incidents that have occurred with the other people from the United States I have met here, than the Costa Ricans. It is actually quite funny to me that it is often when people are placed outside of their cultural norms that then makes aspects of their culture salient. While I’m in the United States, “American” culture isn’t as noticeable to me, but when you take those Estadounidenses into another culture, wow can I see it more. 

Initially at my home stay, there were two other girls staying here (who had been in Costa Rica for a week already) that were leaving the following week. Both were from the United States.

And it was the way they acted around our host family that frustrated and bothered me—the negative emotions that can sometimes rise from critical incidents. Granted they are simply two people and cannot single handedly represent whole cultures. However, their actions are still informed culturally in their upbringing. 

Respect culture was huge in my cultural background with my parents and Japan. Both hosting and being a guest requires high amounts of social protocol and consideration as not to further inconvenience or stress the host or the guest.

And so, the lack of effort these girls made to speak Spanish to our host family left me incredulous. Even a simple “gracias” or “buenos días” were all instead said in English. The girls snickered when trying new foods; did rock, paper, scissors to see who should finish the food; chiefly talked to each other when eating; and made comments about how they probably lost weight on the trip.

At one point my host mom had asked me if I thought that the other girls were enjoying the food because she couldn’t tell due to their lack of an effort to communicate with her (especially in Spanish) and that she wanted to make sure because this was something that mattered to her. That broke my heart. 

Trying to understand where the girls are coming from, perhaps they grew up in cultures where their actions wouldn’t be taken offensively or valued sharing opinions and thoughts candidly (maybe it qualifies as honesty?). Whereas for me, my familial and national culture always have heavily emphasised accommodating both as a host and as a guest. My mother always said, “this is not your house” (when a guest somewhere) “you cannot act as if it is your house.” 

Although I can see the merits and demerits to both sides (like that my cultural expectations can be more emotionally taxing and distancing in some ways), I also wonder if it can be helpful to have some judgements on these differences to determine what I prefer.

I’m not claiming that one culture is superior than the other, I think that different approaches suits different people better. But is there no value in recognising what people prefer? Or is this still my subtle way of having labels of “better” or “worse”? 

I’m uncertain.